Big Brother 18: Users Fanfiction

Julie Chen: Hello. Welcome to Big Brother 18. 16 new house guests all living together. BUT FIRST, let's meet the first four.

(The sun is shining on an Australian homeless shelter with a Shrek logo)

Solar: Look we got mail.

Chwiis: Okay. *reads mail* I made it on Big Brother you nasty aussies

(A man is seen watching anime 24/7)

TDN: YES NARUTO DEEPER

(Channel changes)

TDN: :O

(TV says "Welcome to Big Brother: 18)

TDN: :O

(A tuna store is seen closing)

Tyler: sad. *flips sign to closed but it says "Welcome to Big Brother 18" omg tuna

(In Mesa, Arizona)

Aqua: I'm in Purple Kelly's hometown. I WILL meet her.

Purple Kelly Shinn: Hello.

Aqua: OMG

Purple Kelly Shinn: U made BB18

Julie Chen: Let's welcome Chwiis, TDN, Tyler, and Aqua.

(They walk onto stage)

Julie Chen: They will begin playing today but first, let's meet the next four.

(Outside a gay strip club)

Mirnish: Give me your number Ash.

Ash: *writes you made BB18*

Mirnish: Good number.

(At the Immigration Police Station)

White Man: Noah, Heo, Maria, you've been bailed out.

Heo: Que?

Maria: :O

Noah: By who?

WhiteMan: CBS, you're going to Big Brother

Julie Chen: Please welcome Maria, Noah, Mirnish, and Heo! Let's meet the next four.

(Outside a drug store)

Fiz: *smoking and the cigarette gas formed "You made BB18* omg

(At Survivor's 20 Year Anniversary Party)

Izzy: Hi. My name is on the list.

Rocker: *security guard* The only list you're in is the Big Brother 18 cast list.

Izzy: o

Izzy: m

Izzy: g

(Underwater)

Cabbage: *swimming* Where's Ruby Lipstick and her big lips?

(A message is in sand)

Cab: *reads* I made BB18! Also how did I reach the bottom of the ocean

(In Barbie's Dream House)

Kendall: Hi, I'm Barbie!

Barbie: *walks in* Get the fuck out my house

Kendall: Um, no.

Barbie: Get your ass to the Big Brother 18 house.

Julie Chen: Please welcome Fiz, Izzy, Cabbage, and Kendall! Let's meet the final four house guests.

(At a farm)

Milk: Hi I'm a farm girl. *milks cow and a BB18 key comes out*

(At Wendy's cast register)

Wendy: *sees Jordan walk up* May I take your order.

Jordan: *hands her key*

Wendy: Yay!

(At Halsey's concert)

Blake: *twerking and twerks too much that he takes a shit that says BB18*

(At CBS)

Spirit: I was rigged out of Jamaica. Let me in.

Darules: I'll let you into BB18

Spirit: Fine.

Julie Chen: Please welcome Spirit, Blake, Wendy, and Milk! Hello 16 house guests.

All: Hi.

Julie Chen: Enter the house.

(They walk in)

TDN: Hi guys.

Milk: Hi.

Aqua: There's 4 people per room. My room is the ladybug room and I'm sharing it with my kids.

Maria: yay.

Aqua: Not you Puta. Noah, Tyler, and Cab.

Maria: D:

Tyler: :D

Cabbage: :D

Noah: :D

Aqua: DR: Tyler, Noah, and Cabbage out of the gate are my allies since I'm their mom and they have to respect me. My mom is Vanessa and I'm planning to play like her. Watch out. I will be Purple Kelly + her unaired screen time.

Noah: DR: Ey. So we just started the season and I'm forced into a room with Aqua, Tyler, and Cabbage. They push me around a lot so I'm a bit uncertain.

Milk: Mirnish, Kendall, come here.

Kendall: Hi.

Mirnish: Hi.

Milk: We are all the 3 biggest challenge beasts in this joint. The inferior users like TDN, Noah, and Spirit will target us early..unless we stick together...

Mirnish: Mhm boo.

Kendall: I'll agree with that. (DR: Milk had this great idea of the 3 threats sticking together. That's literally so perfect.)

Mirnish: DR: Milks and Kendall want a threatening trio alliance. I'm fine with that for now. But I'm keeping my options open so I don't dig myself in a coffin too early. I have potential allies with my AleciaVivor twin Aqua, my WC cunts Wendy and Blake, and the goats aka TDN, Chwiis, and Heo. I came prepared. *snaps*

Spirit: *in beach room with Izzy, Fiz, and Maria* I really want HOH. I always go early. It's so annoying. (DR: My goal is to not go pre jury. I leave before the jury in everything. It's annoying. Whoever evicted me should kill them self.)

Maria: DR: Izzy es un coño irrelevante

Fiz: *hangs up LJ posters* (DR: I hav an obeesession with ljesus. And nobody will take that away from me.)

(Chwiis and Heo are seen eating cereal)

Chwiis: Heo, these hams are gonna take over.

Heo: I agree. Us bois gotta put a stop to it.

Chwiis: Who can we pull in?

Heo: Idk. TDN? Maria? Noah? Which ham is the least annoying? (DR: Chwiis and I were thrown in a cast of a bunch of hams. It's disgusting.)

Chwiis: DR: I fucking hate this show. Of all people, my only ally is Benny Oliva the Mexican singer.

Julie Chen: Houseguests, gather in the living room.

(They are in living room)

Blake: what

Julie Chen: Week One will be a fan favorite twist Battle Of The Block

Aqua: WHAT! BATTLE OF THE BLOCK IS NOT FRICKING POPULAR STOP DENYING MY AGE.

Julie Chen: Two Head of Households. Each will nominate two people. The two pairs will compete in Battle of The Block and the winning pair dethroned the HOH, making the pair safe and the HOH not. So everyone go outside for the HOH!

(Outside, 16 giant toothbrushes are seen hanging from the ceiling and the Houseguests are in dentist outfits)

Aqua: Children, watch your teeth clean.

Cabbage: k

Tyler: k

Noah: k

Cabbage: DR: I really want to win HOH so I can prove myself. I don't want to end up like Hope by staying too quiet and leaving early. Id prefer to be a strategic warrior like end gaming Sierra Dawn Thomas.

Tyler: DR: I'm not bland. I am just different from everyone and that will be shown once I win HOH.

Wendy: DR: So we go outside and there's 16 giant toothbrushes. I have no idea what we're gonna do and that really resembles the flow of Big Brother. You don't know what to expect but you adapt, live, and succeed. It's the game and that's why I'm so ready.

Julie Chen: For this HOH, you will hang onto giant toothbrushes for as long as you can. Once you drop, you're out. The last two remaining are Co Head of Households. We'll begin.

(Everyone is hanging on)

Tyler: humps

Aqua: Tyler how dare you!

Maria: XD

Aqua: Shut the fuck up.

Julie Chen: *pulls lever as toothpaste falls on toothbrushes*

Fiz: yay

TDN: (DR: So toothpaste falls on us and it does not taste good. It tastes disgusting. And I could feel myself slipping. But I'm not gonna be the first out of HOH.) *falls* UGHUGUVUGUGHUGGUGH

Aqua: haha

Izzy: Aqua stop screen hogging

Aqua: no u

Julie Chen: Next to drop is immune.

Cabbage: *drops*

Izzy: *drops* ugh I was too late

Julie Chen: Cabbage is immune. And suddenly, people are slipping off.

Heo: *falls*

Fiz: *falls*

Noah: *falls*

Blake: *falls*

Julie Chen: We are down to Tyler, Aqua, Chwiis, Wendy, Mirnish, Milk, Kendall, Spirit, and Maria.

Kendall: Maria, let's drop so we can scissor. *drops*

Maria: *drops*

Tyler: *drops* UGH. (DR: I really wanted to win HOH but I really couldn't hang on any longer. Hopefully my social game helps me avoid eviction.)

Spirit: *drops* Kill yourself toothbrushes

Blake: crying does Spirit never brush his teeth yikes

Spirit: Kill yourself

Blake: DR: People are so damn petty. But I'll stay calm atleast. I'm not as crazy as these cunts so it'll be easy.

Julie Chen: We are down to 5. Milk, Mirnish, Aqua, Wendy, and Chwiis.

Milk: DR: I'll seriously be disgusted if Chwiis wins HOH.

Heo: Hang in there, Chwiis.

Julie Chen: Last to say I is out.

Mirnish: I.

Milk: I.

Aqua: I.

Wendy: I.

Chwiis: I is out.

Julie Chen: Chwiis, step down.

Heo: *facepalms*

Aqua: HAHA *falls* what!

Cabbage and Tyler: *sighs*

Julie Chen: Milk, Mirnish, Wendy, two of you will become Head of Household. One of you not.

Mirnish: (DR: I'm looking around at Milk and Wendy. They'll both keep me safe and the blood will be on them, not me. So honey, it's fine with me.) Good luck you two. *drops*

Julie Chen: Milk and Wendy are Head of Household!

Milk: YES! (DR: I'm HOH. All I gotta do is stay HOH. Mirnish, Kendall, and I will be in control.)

Wendy: DR: I'm glad to be HOH but I don't know what to do so lol!

Izzy: DR: I don't know what this means for me. I hope it means I'm safe. There's bigger targets than me.