User blog:SteelWolf/Ridonculous Race Fanfic Episodes

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Episode 1: Hard Choices, Mud Runs, and Sweaty Hikes
Don: *standing in front of a busy city* This is the Ridonculous Race. 18 teams will race around the world in a quest for a million dollars? Who will come out alive, or uninjured? This is the Ridonculous Race!

(Theme Song)

(Amy and Samey are seen sitting in the bus seats)

The Twins from Pahkitew Island, both bitter from their experience, well, Amy is.

Samey: I hope we can win this time.

Amy: Like, shut up and paint my nails.

Samey: But...

Amy: Shut up and do it, you worthless slave.

Samey: *sigh*

Cheerleaders Confessional

Samey: Even after Pahkitew Island, Amy treats me as her slave.

Amy: NOBODY cares. The only reason I chose to came onto this race is so I can ditch you in a country, and then you get lost.

Samey: But my history teacher said I have perfect geographic navigation.

Amy: He mixed you up with ME.

Samey: Oh..

LARPers, both very weird roleplays who think they are magical

LARPers Confessional

Leonard: I have decided to return to Total Drama and I shall NOT be the second boot.

Tammy: I hope we win so I can buy the upgraded LARPing Viking Helmet.

Leonard: Oh, I heard about that! The Golden Montana?

Tammy: No.

Scarlett and Max, the classic story of two geeks who think they are ruder than me

Max: Would you like some lemonade?

Scarlett: Shut up.

Evil Genius Confessional

Max: Scarlett tries to play hard-to-get.

Scarlett: No, I do not.

Giselle and Kyle, brother and sister

Kyle: Let's win this, Gis.

Giselle: Yeah. So what's our strategy going in?

Kyle: Stick together and we'll win the entire thing because nothing is stronger than our blood.

Siblings Confessional

Giselle: *brushing hair* Kyle is a great motivational speaker.

Kyle: Yeah, I did speeches for everything at school.

Giselle: Even the Spelling Bee.

Kyle: Yeeep.

Sam and Alex, the geeky gamers who had nothing else to do

Alex: *adjusting glasses, then looks at other teams nervously* Everyone else is so in shape. Why did we do this again?

Sam: Because I heard Dakota was competing. I don't know who she's with.

Dakota and Lindsay, the fashion best friends who are dumb and selfish

Dakota: *walks in with Lindsay, holding shopping bags* Like, hey! We're here!

Lindsay: Yep! We're soo gonna win and then like, I forgot what else I was going to say.

Dakota: I did too..ugh.

Fashion Besties Confessional

Dakota: Okay so we decided to do this race so we can buy every luxury possible.

Lindsay: Plus I am a human GPS. *in robot voice* Turn left on Million Bucks avenue *walks into camera* Ow!

(A train stops as more teams walk out)

Gwuncan, the controversial exes that started fan wars

Exes Confessional

Gwen: This is the first time we've seen each other in All Stars.

Duncan: What about that time in-

Gwen: *rolls eyes* Don't talk about it. Okay so, I still hate his big ego and I was forced to race with him.

Duncan: Mhm.

Geoff and Brody, the Surfer dudes who love slang

Brody: *fist pumps Geoff* Lets do this bro!

Geoff: *fist bumps back* Boo ya man!

Surfers Confessional

Geoff: Bridgette went surfing in Australia so I went with my best bud, Canada, meet Brody!

Brody: Hi.

Geoff: He's so excited man!

Betty and Gerry, the key hags of the season, the elderly couple

Betty: *walks out train as paparazzi comes* Oh, hi!

Gerry: Oh brother.

Betty: Sorry. I retired years ago. Not now. I'm with my husband!

Gerry: Yeah, back off! *gets hit by tomato* Ow!

Elderly Confessional

Betty: He's so protective of me.

Barbara and Luke, mother and son.

Barbara: Lukey, you have something on your face. *cleaning it* Be more careful, okay?

Luke: Okay mom.

Duncan: *laughing*

Gwen: *elbows Duncan*

Mother/Son Confessional

Barbara: I taught Luke how to ignore the negative people. What a great son.

Luke: Yeah.

Barbara: *pinches his cheeks* How polite of you!

(Teams are seen getting out taxis)

Adrianna and Tanner, good looking parents looking for free time

Tanner: *walking along sidewalk with arm around Adrianna* We can do this hon. We aren't as young as the others but some of them already have more white hair than us.

Adrianna: Agreed! *high fives him*

Parents Confessional

Adrianna: Our kids got sent off to college and the parents in the neighborhood keep calling us bland, so we joined the race.

Anne Maria and Kayla, two sassy jersey shore wannabees

Anne Maria: *spraying hair*

Kayla: Mm, hairspray. The taxi driver STANK.

Anne Maria: I see where you comin from girl.

Jersey Shore Chicks Confessional

Anne Maria: Once people find out we from jersey, they won't mess with us.

Kayla: People from Jersey are known to be loud and obnoxious. So mess with us and you're GONE.

The conceded, popular, Ashley and Maddie.

Maddie: *putting on lip gloss* So where's that Toronto mall?

Ashley: I know, right.

Maddie: I mean, I wouldn't have even came here if a mall wasnt here.

Ashley: I know, RIGHT.

Populars Confessional

Maddie: Me and Ashley came onto the race to explore the fashion culture from Chinese robes to African Quilts to hot guys in Greece!

Ashley: I KNOW RIGHT.

Owen and Noah, the reality professionals.

Owen: It's great to be with my buddy Noah. He's so cute I can hug him and put him in those stuffed animal machines.

Noah: Mhm....

Reality Pros Confessional

Owen: Me and Noah have been on TONS of reality shows. *eating fries*

Noah: Yeah, which you failed in all.

Owen: *gasp*

(The final four teams are walking to Don)

The Superfans, Sierra and Daniel, both no-life losers

Sierra: Can you believe that Dawn got accused?

Daniel: Oh, I know right! She's so fragile!

(Superfans Confessional)

Sierra: We LOVE Total Drama.

Daniel: LOVE it.

Sierra: We once held a Total Drama fair. 6 people showed up.

Daniel: It was sooo fun!

Athletic Rivals, Jo and Brick.

Jo: Out of my way, "cadet"

Brick: Hey, we can't try to be better than each other. We need to be a team!

Jo: Team? *laughs obnoxiously*

Athletic Rivals Confessional

Jo: If you try and outrun your partner, your partner will gain the competitive spirit to win this cash!

Brick: We're still a team.

Jo: Don't care.

Katie and Sadie, the 2 most annoying people ever

Katie: Oh my god Sadie, we're actually back!

Sadie: We are?

Katie: Yes, we are!

Sadie: OMG.

(BFFL's Confessional)

Katie: I can't believe we're back!

Sadie: *finishes using inhaler* Me too!

Katie: So like, we need to win this time!

Sadie: OMG yes.

And finally, Lightning and Trevor, the jocks.

Lightning: *flexing* Sha-Lightning! Now Trevor, say Sha-Trevor!

Trevor: No thanks.

Lightning: Is it because you're a wimp, HUH?

Trevor: Not really.

Lightning: You're Sha-stupid.

Don: Welcome teams!

Sierra: OMG HI DON!

Don: Since introductions can be a bore, let's start the first race. You will all race to the Don Box and follow its directions. Go.

(Everyone runs)

Gerry: Betty, wait! I can't keep up..my...back..

Betty: It's okay. *carries him and runs*

Lindsay: *waiting outside phone booth*

Dakota: *on phone* Yeah daddy, of course we're racing! No no. The exes are still mad at each other. Focus on me!

Giselle: *running* Ow..

Kyle: What's wrong..?

Giselle: N...n...nothing! *continues to run*

Jo: *ahead of Brick* Catch me if you can!

Trevor: *with Lightning, reaches Don Box*

Lightning: You read it!

Trevor: It's an either/or.

Don: Contestants must either dig in the mud for a golden medal, as satisfaction that you aren't pathetic, or take long hike up a hill.

Maddie: Ugh, both can mess up our outfits.

Ashley: I know right!

Maddie: But it's MUD.

Ashley: I know right!

Maddie: We're gonna do the hike then *sigh*

(Populars Confessional)

Maddie: *crying* The toughest choice of my life..

Ashley: I know right!

(The Hike)

(Populars, Parents, LARPers, Cheerleaders, Fashion Besties, Siblings, Jersey Shore Chicks, Mother/Son, and Reality Pros are seen)

Leonard: Greetings fellow teams?

Kayla: Stop talking please.

Amy: Samey, carry me.

Samey: Why?

Amy: BECAUSE I DONT WANNA HIKE.

Samey: *sigh* Fine.

(Cheerleaders Confessional)

Amy: Samey wanted to carry me for some reason

Samey: No I didn't!

Owen: *sweating* So...tired.

Noah: We haven't even started.

Leonard: *with Tammy* Whats our plan against the forces of evil?

Tammy: I SAY WE CLEAN THEIR EVIL CONSCIENCE WITH MY NEW SONG.

Leonard: Ooh, I wanna hear it!

Amy: Don't you dare.

Tammy: You're mean!

Adrianna: This isn't so bad.

Tanner: *struggling to climb up a rock* Yeah

Dakota: So then my daddy bought me a yacht

Lindsay: You are so lucky!!

Dakota: I know right! How long is this hike? *looks up* OMG.

(The Mud)

(Jocks, Athletic Rivals, Superfans, BFFL's, Gamers, Elderly Couple, Exes, Surfers, Evil Geniuses are seen)

Lightning: *digging through mud* Sha yeaaah!

Sam: Come on Alex, you can do it! You're about to pass the final level!

Alex: *falls in mud* Level..*spits out mud* Incomplete.

(Gamers Confessional)

Sam: Our strategy was to think of everything as a video game.

Alex: *spitting out mud* I don't think it's working out so far...

Scarlett: Max, dig that pile of mud!

Max: Whatever you say. *mumbles to self* Sidekick..

Scarlett: *rolls eyes*

Duncan: Gwen why are you ignoring me..

Gwen: *continues to dig*

Duncan: Come on..

Gwen: *walks away to dig somewhere else*

Duncan: Wow.

Jo: I bet I can find the medal first!

Brick: Yeah, yeah.

Betty: *looking* How difficult.

Brody: Found it dude!

Geoff: Really?

Brody: Nevermind, just a shoelace.

(Hike)

Giselle: *running up* Lets go!

Kyle: *pacing up* I think we're in the lead!

Anne Maria and Kayla: Not for long!

(Jersey Chicks Confessional)

Anne Maria: Told YA you never mess with a girl from jersey

Kyle: Hurry! *carries Giselle* You're kinda heavy

Giselle: Rude!

Barbara: *walking with Luke* How's school?

Luke: Good.

Barbara: Amazing.

Kyle: *reaches top* Take one of three flights to Vegas..

Giselle: Vegas, yes!

Anne Maria: *catches up* Yeah baby!

Leonard: *sees teams ahead* Tammy, we need to catch up.

Tammy: *throws coconuts at everyone*

Leonard: Not that way!

Adriana: *arrives at top with Tanner* We did it!

Tanner: Yeah baby! *sees they ran off to airport* We can catch up.

(Parents Confessional)

Adrianna: Vegas is where Tanner proposed to me, it was sooo romantic!

Samey: *struggling to carry Amy* Ugh...

Amy: HURRY UP.

Lindsay: *at bottom with Dakota, doing nails* OMG WE FORGOT

Dakota: The race?

Lindsay: No, the cyan nail polish!

Dakota: OMG, the race!

Lindsay: *gasp*

(Fashion Besties Confessional)

Dakota: We were SO busy with the race that we TOTALLY forgot about the race.

Lindsay: Even if we come in last, it's better than 5th, I think.

Owen: *struggling to climb* Argh..

Noah: Come on Big O

Owen: I CAN DO THIS.. *farts*

Noah: Um.

(Mud)

As people from the hike are heading towards the airport, people in the mud are finally finding medals

Lightning: SHA digging!

Trevor: Found it!

Lightning: Let's go! *runs*

Jo: *grabs medal* Lets go Brick!

Sierra: I GOT IT!

Daniel: That was for you, Heather! *faces camera* She's my favorite.

Gwen: *to Daniel* Gross. *finds key* Ooh!

As more teams are heading towards the airport, others are struggling.

Gerry: *looking* Ugh.

Betty: Keep a positive attitude Gerry

Geoff: *trying to pull Brody from mud* Help! *struggling*

Brody: I'm sorry man!

Max: *running with Scarlett*

Gerry: *sees Max and Scarlett* Even they got it!

Geoff: *pulls Brody out*

Brody: I have it! *runs*

Gerry: *grabs it and runs* Lets go!

Betty: DUH.

Don: The flights have been booked.

FLIGHT 1

Siblings

Parents

Athletic Rivals

Jocks

Jersey Shore Chicks

Superfans

FLIGHT 2

Exes

Populars

BFFL's

Mother/Son

Reality Pros

Gamers

FLIGHT 3

LARPers

Fashion Besties

Surfers

Elderly Couple

Evil Geniuses

Cheerleaders