Total Drama Big Brother 1 (Fanfic)

This is a fanfic of TDBB1 with randomized HOH wins and a less shitty cast. If this is successful maybe I'll continue this. Who knows. :^)

Premiere
Danielle: Welcome to the Total Drama Big Brother house. With our own spin on the classic formula used in BBUS and BBCan, 16 Canadians check into a wonderful urban treehouse under constant surveillance of the public to compete in competitions for a half a million dollar prize. In our earthy studio here in Toronto, who will come out on top? It's time to meet our houseguests for this probably crappy season. Here are the first 4.

(Camera changes from the studio to the various locations where the future houseguests are.)

Geoff: *reading key* Congratulations houseguest, you have earned your spot-

Alejandro: In the Total Drama Big Brother house? *smiles* Excelente!

Lindsay: Oh my gosh, *hugs pet chihuahua in lap* I'm gonna be on Big Brother! Eeee!

Gwen: *staring at key* Whatever.

Yolo: I made Big Brother n*****s!!!!

Bridgette: Is this for real? *cameraman nods* Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!

Bridgette: (DR: My name is Bridgette and I'm a 19 year old student from Vancouver, British Columbia, and I love to get my surf on. *clips of Bridgette surfing* I'm a really chill and low maintenance person, and I can't wait to prove myself as one of Canada's fan favorites in the TDBB house. I really love the beach and all the animals that reside there. As a pacifist, I hope I'll be able to defuse tense situations and hopefully have a great time and pay the bills at the same time.)

Alejandro: (DR: *pictures of Alejandro climbing Mount Everest, being with uncaged tigers in Bali, and traveling with his family* I'm Alejandro Burromuerto, one of the most renowned and honorable families in Spain, but I moved to Canada when I was 16 so my dad could act as ambassador. I consider myself quite charming, and hopefully I will be able to use this skill to worm my way through all of the houseguests. I have been informed by my dear mama that I am quite attractive *clip of Alejandro putting on sun lotion* and I am not afraid to use my looks to get ahead.)

Lindsay: *throws chihuahua up in air but it flies out of the room and hits someone* Oops, sorry. :( (DR: Hiii! I'm Lindsay! :P I'm like 18 and I'm a high school student and part time model. I consider myself a very fashionable and bubbly person, but that doesn't mean I can't be totally brainacular! *laughs* I want to win this to show not all blondes are dumb, just some!)

Geoff: *high fives bro* I'm gonna be on Big Brother dudes!!!!! (DR: My name is Geoff, and I'm 19 years young and flying fresh!!!!! I spend my days being the life of the party nowadays, and ever since I dropped out of school it's been a non stop party! *clip of Geoff drinking several beer root beer cans in 5 seconds and then burping* The people I get along with are really chill and stuff, I can't deal with chicks that have gigantic poles up their butt. I hope that there are gonna be some loose women in the Total Drama Big Brother house!... what? You're cutting that off the final cut? Aight.)

Gwen: (DR: You're expecting me to give some kind of cheesy intro confessional? :/ Sorry, I didn't get enough sleep for this. I'm Gwen, and that's all anyone really needs to know.)

Yolo: (DR: Ayyy! My name is Yolo, I'm 42 years young, and I live in the slums of Toronto. People have this stereotype of minorites being violent, but I am to buck this idea with my intelligence, compassion, and competitive edge.)

(Clips of the houseguests packing and then a return to the studio.)

Danielle: Welcome our first six guests to check into Total Drama Big Brother 1... Bridgette! Alejandro! Lindsay! Geoff! Gwen! Yolo! I know you are all excited to get inside... but you just need to wait a bit more. Now it's time for us to meet the next 6.

(Camera changes from the studio to the various locations where the next set of future houseguests are.)

Heather: *pulls key out of purse* What is this?

Harold: *does kung fu poses until handed a note* Awesome!

Courtney: The proceedings are going quite- hold on a sec Donovan. *picks up phone* I'm gonna be on Total Drama Big Brother?!

Beardo: *DJ'ing for a rave until handed key and does a level finished sound effect*

Sugar: Ho mah ghey, I'm gonna be on Total Drama Big Brother!

Rodney: It's gonna be nice to finally meet some new ladies! *hugs pig*

Rodney: (DR: I'm Rodney, I'm from rural Saskatchewan, and I love girls. As a farm boy and sibling of 5 younger brothers, I've been able to teach my brothers the art of seduction. I've gotten countless women around my fingertips, and my main probelm here will be not breaking their hearts immediately. I'm a force to be reckoned with, and I will win in the Big Brother house!)

Heather: Hmmph. *throws key in trash* (DR: I'm Heather Decksheimer, and I'm from Montreal. My former classmates have described me as "horrid bitch", "high-maintanence floozy", "Chinese dragon", and "looser than a ring of Jell-O". But who cares what they think? I got accepted into one of Canada's top universities, and getting my name out there through Total Drama Big Brother will put me one step closer to my long term goal of ruling Europe.)

Beardo: *does sound effects while DJ'ing* (DR: I am, Be-ar-do, and I am, kinda shy, but once you, get to know me, I'm a great guy! My main, problem will, be talking, to a bunch of, new people, but I'm, looking forward, to this!)

Courtney: *typing on PDA when shown key* Meh. (CONF: I'm Courtney, I'm currently studying law, and I hope to become rather successful in the corporate law world soon. I've always been one of the smartest people I knew, and I've always had a special inclination for leading ever since I became a C.I.T. for a summer camp. You're gonna get a strong competitor this season, but hopefully my ride to victory won't be too boring. *laughs*

Harold: Hiya! *chops wooden block and a key appears under it* (DR: I've always been particularly adept at a wide variety of things, kind of a jack of all trades. I'm 97 pounds of pure, unbridled fury, and I use that fury to pursue a variety of subjects including mixed martial arts, Japanese culture, online roleplaying for reality shows, and running a fan blog for the various kinds of French cheese tasting fairs. My wide taste will definitely help me more than hinder me, and hopefully I'll be able to reel in the money when the day ends.)

Sugar: *eating ice cream using her hands until she sees the key in the carton* OMG! (DR: I'm Sugar! I'm a simple country gal from Lloydminister, Alberta, or Saskatchewan! It's a provincial border town! I'm used to being an ac-TOR, as nearly every month I enroll in one of Canada's various beauty pageants and have done so since I was just 4 years old! I will use ma' speakin' skills and the various talents I have ac-quired from my pageant shows and put them to good use in winning this here shadoodle!)

(Clips of houseguests packing.)

Danielle: Welcome our next six guests to check into Total Drama Big Brother 1 house... Sugar! Harold! Courtney! Rodney! Heather! Beardo! It's now time to meet our final 4 houseguests.

(Camera changes from the studio to the various locations where the final set of future houseguests are.)

Amy: Total Drama? Do I HAVE to?

Ezekiel: *milking his own milk until handed key* Eh? Big Broother?

Blaineley: *doing a photoshoot until a key is thrown at her* Knock it off! What, I'm gonna be on tv again?!

Owen: *eats key*

Owen: (DR: So uh, hi! I'm Owen and I've been on several other reality shows before. Let's see, uh, there was this one called like Outwitter or something? I was the first out after eating all the bamboo for our tribes shelter. I'm thicc but I'm not ashamed of it, I just like to eat. My family is very close to me, and I love my mom.)

Owen's mom: *crying while hugging Owen* I'll miss you so much!

Owen: (DR: Hopefully I'll be able to win over the other people there with my fun personality, but it won't get too heated in my book! I can't wait to joing everyone else!)

Amy: Oh my GAG, did you sign me up for this Samey? (DR: I'm Amy Pierzina, and I'm from Halifax. I'm currently a high school senior, and I've been cheer captain since I was in 6th grade. *clip of Amy yelling at her cheer squad* I'm a natural born leader, like, people flock to me like whores do to tennis courts. My charisma and face are probably my best 2 qualities, but I wouldn't count out my butt as well. *laughs* There will probably be like 20 guys that are interested in me, but I'll just use them to win and dump them later.)

Ezekiel: (DR: I'm Ezekiel! I've been homeschooled my entire life and haven't really seen any other teens outside of church, but I'm a force to be reckoned with, eh! I'm not ta' shabby with a bow and arrow *clip of Ezekiel accidentally hitting his mom with an arrow* and I like to get rough with the animals at the farm! *clip of Ezekiel running away screaming from a bull* I'm gonna use my sick lingo yo to bond with the other youngsters! *tries to do gang signs but accidentally hits his eye* OW! MA, CALL THE EYE DOCTOR!)

Blaineley: *walking out of a photoshoot and signing several autographs until handed a key* (DR: I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran, and some of you may know me from my various gigs on TV and in the cinema industry. *does air kiss to the camera* I might be 38, but I still have the sex appeal of a party girl in her twenties. I'm hoping to use my victory in Total Drama Big Brother to revitalize my career in the show biz, and that's why I didn't flat out refuse when I got recruited.)

(Clips of the houseguests packing)

Danielle: Finally, welcome our next four guests to check into Total Drama Big Brother 1 house! Amy! Ezekiel! Blaineley! Owen! *all sixteen houseguests have gathered in front of the house* Are you all ready?... well I don't really care, because you're going in anyways. You may now enter the Big Brother house.